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Abscess and Depression/Self-Esteem

abscess fistula

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#1 Mary

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Posted 14 August 2015 - 04:48 AM

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For the past few months I have been suffering from a perianal abscess and fistula. I have had surgery twice, most recently two weeks ago (drainage) and I am due for further surgery in two weeks (re the fistula).

 

Since my most recent surgery, my self-esteem has just shattered. Prior to that, I was in so much pain (I had been prescribed endone) and was so excited about having surgery. Since my having the abscess drained, I have been struggling enormously. I feel so disgusting. I suppose that now my mind is no longer focussed on the pain, it can turn itself to other things. My abscess leaks constantly and I have to wear pads. I wake up throughout the night and have to get up to wipe it with tissues. When I wake up, I feel paranoid about the smell. If  i don't wipe frequently enough, I get a painful rash and blisters from the moisture.

 

I just feel so disgusting and I can't stop crying. I know it seems stupid as I am otherwise healthy. I don't know why it is affecting me so much.  

 

I am a 29 year old female and I live with my partner. I won't let him touch me because I feel so gross and he is becoming impatient as we have not been intimate in so long and I am not able to tell him when I will be able to again. Last night, I told him he should just sleep with somebody else and not tell me.  

 

I feel so ashamed also that something seemingly trivial is affecting me so much. And I just feel so sad. And I wish I could talk to somebody about this but I am too embarrassed. 

 

My surgeon is fantastic and I am grateful for that. He has been very accommodating in terms of booking appointments etc. He thinks I may have Crohn's. My fistula still requires treatment and I also have a fissure. I hope they can both be sorted when I next go in for surgery. I know everything is going to take a while. In addition, I have exhausted my savings on appointments and surgery so it won't be long before I have financial stress also.

 

I would really be grateful for some advice. Most of the time when I am alone I just cry. I know it sounds stupid. My work is really stressful so I don't think about it too much when I am working. I used to relish the weekends but now they terrify me as they give me time to think and I have nothing to distract me from my sadness.

 

Thanks for reading. 

 




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#2 uw285

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Posted 01 March 2017 - 11:51 AM

This is obviously very distressing for you and my heart goes out to you.

 

All I can say is that it sounds like your partner loves you and he is just as frustrated with the situation as you are.  Unfortunately, as all us IBD sufferers know there is no quick fix or magic cure to our problems and we have to work on ourselves internally and try to get to a place within us where we come to terms with our limitations and not be frustrated by them.  Obviously this is hard to do and in some cases will take a lifetime to achieve but your mental attitude is what will get you through this.  IBD patients are some of the toughest people I have ever met and I expect you are no different, you should take some comfort and pride yourself on that.  Equally do not feel pressured to be strong and tough as this can put massive pressure on yourself, stress can have a horrible effect on the body try to find time to relax and not dwell on your problems.

 

Much of this advice is far easier said than done, I wish you all the best for the future and hope your situation improves.



#3 johnwalker

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Posted 06 December 2017 - 04:05 AM

Depression is well known as mental health disorder which switch the moods or person shows lack of interest in activities in daily life. If you are diagnosed with any medical condition then you can suffer with this mental disorder.  We always believe that depression is occurred because of psychological problems. Know about the nutritional deficiencies that leads to depression and how to overcome from depression. 



#4 lesathomas

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Posted 21 August 2018 - 07:16 AM

Depression is a silent killer, many of them are losing their life due to the depression, erectile dysfunction problem is also linked with the depression. So please handle the depression very careful.








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